In fact, I would wager that she is well aware of your disdain for her appearance, and my concern is that your fixation on her complexion is damaging not her self-image, but your relationship. I would also bet that if it doesn’t work, she will take that next step on her own, with no encouragement needed from you. My guess is that your daughter is attempting to clear the acne on her own before she goes to the trouble and expense of a doctor. ![]() You need to let her live her life as she chooses, and that includes how she manages her appearance. Plus, it sounds like you’ve already told her to see the dermatologist several times. She knows how acne occurs and what kind of doctor she should see if she wants to address it. But she is an adult, and, given her chosen career and lofty internship, a pretty smart one at that. You obviously want what is best for your daughter. Look, I am certain you are coming from a place of love here. I know this can be corrected with the help of a dermatologist! How can I finally get her onboard without hurting her feelings and/or damaging her self-image? I’m afraid it will negatively impact the professional image she wants and needs to portray to become successful in her chosen profession. People associate acne to this degree with poor hygiene. I see the over-the-counter meds she buys and uses in vain. I’m going to say it here…she looks absolutely awful! There’s no way this doesn’t bother her, whether she wants to admit it to me or not. She’s attending law school and will begin an internship at a high-profile firm in a couple of weeks. She becomes extremely annoyed if I mention it or suggest she see a dermatologist. It looks worse by the day! She did not have this issue in her teens. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. ![]() ![]() Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.
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